On Rawness of Pain and Bliss

Sitting alone, here in the stillness of the nothingness, the void beyond and the dark, drowning beyond all points, there is nothing but letting it all go while the pain body faced all in the raw is being washed over the by the sharp jagged edges and the waves. Unfettered and nothing but the relentless waves of sinking in swallowing me over, there is no nothing and absolute still point emergence. You know nothing exists and beyond, it is just you and the universe and no point in return. It is eternal emergence. With continued and rapid moving throes of coming into terms of being alive through the pain and throbbing with it all the call for feeling so much and too much, one perhaps knows one is alive. It is as good as being merged with eternal bliss body. What is this pain body anyway? When in release you know there is nothing to be done but utter surrender while you are soaked and washed in. You drown, you are as good as dead anyway. Living surrendered to the  ultimate still point moments layer to layer, there is no point in being here, bleeding to death all in all. But it is the continued long emergence, you keep on doing and being what you are here to do and then the shackles come crawling in like thorny webs pulling you under. There is no resistance and no point denying. You are often too tired and exhausted. Sometimes the jagged edges are rich in their fury and versatile glare and you wish you could be done with, somehow numb the pain.

If there are better ways to numb it then ok. But there cannot be better ways to grief processing than allowing feeling, all you feel, let it all soak and take you over. Surrender, release, express, any way you can. Art is the biggest way of surrendering release to your grief. Taking care of what you can do to bring into self expression, whether through writing, art, therapy, talking to animals. If you cannot talk to anybody sing to the plants and trees, ramble to the dogs and flies. They will know. The cat can look utterly dismayed at your dormancy but it can come into your happy curl to create the puddle in your lap telling you it is all right. The sync of life moves on.

For most HSPs human conversations can be too much to face the pain at times and yet if you find the right resonant one to talk with, no wonder. Personally talk drains me too much no matter the person. The people I would share the closest bond with in the knowing embers we do so in silence and energy. That is a good part of the process. But to come to there, the internal beingness into stillness is all I can muster the courage to surrender.

When in grief processing all it helps is to be able to sit still with one’s pain or another’s. You can do so only when you have done for yours for long. For most of the hyper sensitive ones, I come to believe that we feel so much because we have simply felt for way too long for over the centuries. I remember and do know and connect back with sister in the piers, burned and overburdened with guilt and shame, to be left for dead in the flames. The piercing pain of the heart of mother nature cries through the inner bodies of the divine feminine. There is no denying but to surrender in the continued glare of the scorch. With each news or non news of the poacher or decrepit mayhem of another hope gone lost or drowned or another innocent beast being tormented to kill under the human gluttony, it keeps coming back. With each little shade of doubt being overlapped one to another, you cannot have it done altogether? You cannot put it all straight. People are suffering and they suffer. You cannot have it all straightened not in this life or edges, you can just do what you get to do.

The hardest thing to fathom, and any sensitive ones would agree, whether or not you agree right now. But facing the reality or the pain of centered being comes to bring you this in soothing. It is far worse to be numbed out and not feel at all. If we do not process grief in the way we could bring our soul and mind to work in agreeing or coming to terms, it could result in a lot of overdoing or burying. Over eating, drinking, addiction forming, violent routes, it could go all destructive. The worst that comes through all of these is numbing out. Numbing out is bleeding to death in the slowest kills. Numbing out for edges is what we have been doing. Sometimes tuning out or turning off is good. Not numbing out. Numbing out is going for the slow kill. What is the point of being alive? However for some it becomes too much and you take the short way out or you want to numb out. It can be years of numbing out, often centuries. The years of pain can be too much and they pile up to nothingness in your being. All it can take is sometimes another realm of pain and melt down in 3d and you are being tormented back to the memories or a good thing gone wrong, a lost something. Sudden death or friendship soured or loss of home or job or the dream which feels beyond repair. The numbing out phases gets awakened up. Mostly pain body allows us to feel the things we have not been ready to face and helps us come alive no matter how dysfunctional we get in the worldly form, it is a way of the soul seeing and saying how alive it can be and what its stretched capacities are. It is all parts of the body, the blood vessels and nerves, stretched to the extreme and coming to terms with it, somehow to keep going and being alive.

When taken out of the daily way of being in life and extreme grief processing, all parts of us are shaken and crumbled. We are challenged to the core and extreme. As long as we are here, slow to slow, something keeps us alive: some peeking of hope, some love, some form of measure or purpose, some thing or some one to tend to or take care of. It is usually some thing outside of us. For us with uncompleted tasks or purpose, often it loses its meaning with the through of an extreme grief opening. For others it can be just the last straws of the vision of the purpose. One has to keep going since perhaps it is not the end. And even if it ends we are not here to choose, for in a greater sense all is chosen and done already.

In the joking tone we are as good as dead and gone. And then again not! We keep having  the edges being challenged and sharpened to keep us having feeling the feelings in the 3d and having to blend in with the works that only the human forms can bring.

For as long as we are here in the meanwhile we have to come to terms with this and be able to come home to peace through the riding echoes of the pain layers. Pain body is going to be a big part of the life and all that is in the here in 3d. Immersing deeper into the pain allows you to feel it all and come at the center. You allow yourself to be more, coming on the other side. When grief and pain takes you over it is a still point where you are present with all of life and all that is. You merge with the eternal. There is no way out. You and the center of source and creation are the same. One of the added clearings that come out better with this emergence is that you know beyond pain is the merging with eternal bliss. In fact, pain and bliss from beyond the still point of coming into the merging becomes the same in the eternal field. When submerged within the pain, dont resist and keep on floating. Either way the pain takes us drowned well within and beyond the points of no suffering where it is stillness and all coming into one. There is no denial anymore and you are one and embraced. When the pain and the bliss dawns to you to be coming as one, you know all is one and in that surrendered eternity, it is no different. The points of fears of wanting to deny or not having to face the pain or the shut down or numbing out takes ways out. You are here and in the submerged pure blending of the pain and bliss in all eternity. You are eternal and that is how your energy celebrates and merges in with the pain. We have just been too cautious with facing pain and fears, to the point of being in overplayed hiding away from it. Facing and being with it is what melts us in any way. We do not have to do anything.